Sunday, February 8, 2009

John Self

God works in mysterious ways, life makes no sense and happiness comes in the strangest packages. You’ve heard the story about the man who complained he had no shoes until he met someone with no feet. There ends the story. No explanation. The End. Figure it out for yourself.
There ought to be a law against telling cryptic stories to those without the minimum IQ requirements. It took me awhile to completely appreciate the moral behind that story. Basically, everyone should be content and grateful with their lot in life. Got no money? Neither has anyone else so let’s all be poor and pretend to be happy. No husband, wife? You get more bed space without having to negotiate. No friends, no one likes you? NO RESPECT?! Why waste valuable time in the pursuit of more grief? Don’t you think your life is stressful enough without introducing more clutter? That’s right, be grateful and content with your lot.
Not a bad moral for a story except for one small thing. It’s a lie. Lets be honest, more is good. When Gordon Gecko confidently declared that ‘greed is good’ he freed us moral simpletons from a lifetime of guilt at wanting more. More, more, more. More holidays, more clothes, more cars, more houses, more drugs, more champagne, more sex, more guns, more money. That’s what it boils down to. More money. No one’s got enough and we all need it. More money. At some point in my life I remember some smart guy somewhere calculated that one million dollars should be enough to live on for the rest of one’s life. Hah! I’ve not yet hit a million dollars but I could spend it in fifteen minutes, and that’s slow. Give me more money. And when you’re done, give me more ‘cos it just wasn’t enough. Go on, bail ME out, I need more money.
The hardest thing in life is to live with an under-utilised mind, unable to appreciate and exploit whatever opportunities exist in one’s life. Refusing to think intelligently or at least logically, the poor soul is doomed to a lifetime of ignorant under-achievement. He is not dim-witted or mentally disabled, just plain lazy. The need to critically evaluate and optimise a range of options under any set of circumstances appears unnecessary or feels too hard. Plain lazy…and stupid.
This is the tragedy of John Self.

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